★ ✶ seltzer reviews for the people ✶ ★

FIZZ SQUAD

The bubbliest, most unbiased seltzer reviews on the whole dang internet. We taste it so your fridge doesn't have to guess. 🫧

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This week's pours

Pellegrino Plain full review
The Godfather9.4/ 10

Pellegrino

Plain

🥂 classic 🌍

This small bubble Italian masterpiece really flourishes in a glass bottle. Avoid the microplasitics version at all costs - it really does this beauty a diservice. On a recent longhaul flight I had the steward on an endless 'grino loop and left that flight feeling fresh as a daisy, barely needing a shower, and avoiding 98% of the jetlag. Don't skimp out at a nice dinner - pop one of these up in betwen your starter coctails and show the room you mean buiness. One of the gretest of all time.

Adirondack Grape full review
Basically Welches Grape Soda9.3/ 10

Adirondack

Grape

🫐 berry

Run don't walk if you spot this beauty on a shelf near you. This is a rare bird, but one of the best in the game in the soda-like genre. If you're like me and long for the taste of a Welch's Grape soda - this is for you. The taste is similar in the best way. Standard bub.

Vichy Catalan full review
Mineral Master9.3/ 10

Vichy

Catalan

🥂 classic 🌍

Hailing from Gerona, Spain this mineral explosion is something special. It brought me to my knees the first time I popped this beauty. A must for Chablis fans. Pares wonderfully with shellfish and seafood. Intense flavor for a "plain" seltzer. Pasta water salinity.

LaCroix Pure full review
Morning Seltz9.2/ 10

LaCroix

Pure

🥂 classic 🇺🇸

This big bubble classic is a real refresher. A nice "morning seltzer" either straight out of the fridge or residually left on the nightstand for an AM beak dip. Very clean taste. While the LaCroix engineers may miss on flav from time to time - they didn't miss on the his bad boy.

Topo Chico Original full review
9.1/ 10

Topo Chico

Original

🥂 classic 🌍

You get this bubble master in a glass bottle and life is good. Solid but not over bearing minerality. A breath of fresh air. Solid bub density. Slightly above average in bub size. A classic for a reason.

Waterloo Lemon Lime full review
8.4/ 10

Waterloo

Lemon Lime

🍋 citrus 🇺🇸

Crisp and classic all-day refresher. Pool side / laptop side, this seltzer performs. Natural citrus flavor profile, mid-size, mid-velocity bubble. Enjoyably down the middle with potential to win over plain selzer fans.

Nixie Strawberry Hibiscus full review
8.2/ 10

Nixie

Strawberry Hibiscus

🫐 berry 🇺🇸

The good folks at Nixie don't miss. This may sound like a niche flavor you only want one of. That instinct would be wrong. You are not going to be mad you have the 12-pack. This thing screams summertime. “Organically flavored" and it shows. Nice strawberry taste in a mostly natural way. Refreshing middle-of-the-road bubble intensity and bubble size - well balanced.

Polar Rub Red Grapefruit full review
8.0/ 10

Polar

Rub Red Grapefruit

🍋 citrus 🇺🇸

Big, high-velocity bubbles. Can be left for an hour and still have bubbles. Flavor leans natural with noticeable citrus/grapefruit notes. This is a classic, aligned to expectations. A big bub classic.

Basically The Lemon Lime Kind full review
7.7/ 10

Basically

The Lemon Lime Kind

🍋 citrus 🇺🇸

I’m not proud of how much I like this store-brand sparkling water. But I have to be honest: it slaps. Yes, the wafer-thin can is alarming, but the light citrus taste and balanced carbonation make this eminently chuggable. Punches well above its weight. Could easily have two or three in a single sitting.

Canada Dry Mandarin Orange full review
7.7/ 10

Canada Dry

Mandarin Orange

🍋 citrus 🌍

Since 1904, the fine people of Canada Dry have been banging out amazing products. This everyday seltzer does not disappoint. We have these in the work fridge, so I'm a bit biased (to the negative), but even still, this thing slaps. Pretty intense bubble explosion at the open, but quickly cools out to manageable bubble intensity and mouthfeel. Flavor is light and pleasant, certainly not overpowering, a testament to the delicate hand of their food science team.

Mondariz Cabonated Spring Water full review
7.7/ 10

Mondariz

Cabonated Spring Water

🥂 classic 🌍

This Spanish brand has been around since the 1870s, but I just came across it for the first time at Eli's on the Upper East Side of NYC. High minerality and great flavor profile. Bubbles dissipate quite quickly, but leave behind a delightful near-still water experience. The bubs were fun while they lasted, but oddly, I didn’t miss them.

Waterloo Black Cherry full review
6.7/ 10

Waterloo

Black Cherry

🫐 berry 🇺🇸

Understand why they call it "water"loo, this is mucho diluted. Decent but light flavor profile. Ugly trucker can. Weak, small, low density bubble. But a decent flat water substitute.

Basically The Cherry Vanilla Kind full review
6.5/ 10

Basically

The Cherry Vanilla Kind

👽 weird 🇺🇸

More a gentle beverage than a fizzy seltzer. Thin can and timid bubbles that fizzle out fast. Cherry aspects taste natural and pleasant, while the vanilla leans a bit artificial. This could work for a vanilla-Coke soda fan but not win everyone over.

LaCroix Lime full review
Grandfather6.5/ 10

LaCroix

Lime

🍋 citrus 🇺🇸

I'm going to go out on a limb here. After completing exactly zero minutes of research, I'm going to declare that this was a big part of the flavored seltzer revolution. In that light, you have to respect it, but at the same time let's be honest, it’s not great. The lime is quite artificial, the bub is solid, but lacks personality. Is this a bad seltzer? No way, it’s just so down the middle it lacks a real viewpoint.

LaCroix Pamplemousse full review
6.1/ 10

LaCroix

Pamplemousse

🍋 citrus 🇺🇸

The OG mystery flavor. It 100% does not work for me, but does for some. Those people also likely enjoyed lima beens as a kid. Turns out Pamplemousse isn't a mystery - its french for grapefruit - but you could have fooled me.

Loonen Plane full review
5.6/ 10

Loonen

Plane

🥂 classic 🇺🇸

Influencer brand Wifee fell victim to. Really nicely packaged with a placid loon floating on a body of water and a beautifully shaped glass bottle. That's where the good ends. Weak, small bubble. Super forgettable to negative taste with an odd mouthfeel. Almost thick? Probably not actually, but not good.

Hal's Lime full review
4.3/ 10

Hal's

Lime

🍋 citrus 🇺🇸

I believe Hal's is a regional brand. In NYC, it’s a mainstay at delis and bodegas mostly in plastic bottles. Needless to say, I was eager to try the can version that the wife procured. For starters - I hate a skinny can format. That feels inherently off-brand for an urban selzer, and the product manager should be fired immediately for the choice. I hate it so much it was hard to even try - but for the people - I did. And...it sucked. Weak bubble (perhaps due to height - but I'm not a physicist) to the point of tasting flat. I did a double-check to confirm it was carbonated on the package. Super fake taste. This may be the exception that performs better in a plastic bottle.

Polar Pickle Juice Splash full review
Polarizing3.7/ 10

Polar

Pickle Juice Splash

👽 weird 🇺🇸

We TRIED to like it. Brine bubbles are simply a bridge too far for most carbon-based life forms.

Who's behind the fizz?

We're a married couple who think seltzer deserves the same love wine gets. Mineral or sparkling, can or glass bottle, plain or juice-bomb — to us it's all bubbles, and it's all worth talking about.

We taste 'em, rate 'em, and tell you which ones are worth your fridge space.

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Our manifesto

  • Seltzer, sparkling water, mineral water — it's all the same to us, and it's all good
  • Real reviews, real bubbles, zero synergy deals
  • We try every flavor so you don't have to suffer alone
  • From mineral-forward purists to candy-flavored juice bombs — we love 'em all
  • Pickle seltzer exists and we will review it

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